My First Kaiba Torturing Fic!
by Halfling Elf
Summary: When Mokuba gets a package from Halfling Elf, it wreaks havoc at the Kaiba mansion.Lots of Kaiba and Y. Bakura torture! ^____^ Please R
1. Hunting for Kaiba

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-Oh! or cutie Bakura ( I wish I did) , but I do own Maria! If you use her, I won't make a second chapter!

I dedicate this ficcy to: YYC !ANGEL !YAMI BLUE! KITTY KAT! AND HALFLING ROGUE!! Thank you! You authoresses are the best! * bows down * Train me in the S.K.T.S please!! And in the way of the authoress! *waves at big sister Halfling Rogue*

My First Kaiba Torturing fic!!

Hello! Welcome to my first pointless fic!! Where we have Seto torture(^______^)! Now, on to the fic!!!

It was a very sunny day when Mokuba got his package.

Mokuba: YAY!! It came!

Seto: what is that?

Mokuba: The present Halfling Elf got me!

Seto: who's she?

Mokuba: a S.K.T.S in training!^____________^

Seto: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!! *runs off *

Mokuba: ^_^() oh well * opens box *

Maria: HONK! ^__^

Mokuba: why, it's Maria!! Frank's sister!

Maria: HONK!! ^_______^

DING DONG

Mokuba: oh, that must be Yugi and Yami!

* Mokuba walks to the door while Maria waddles behind him * 

Mokuba: hello Yugi!

Yugi: hello Mokuba!

Mokuba: I got my shipment today!

Yugi: really? Where is it?

Maria: *next to Yugi * HONK ^___^

Yugi: oh!! Cute!! ^___^

Yami: what is it? -_- ()

Mokuba : a penguin! I think you met at Frank's family reunion.

Yami : we did?

Yugi : yup ! You were Yam man at the time!

Yami : don't remind me -_-

Maria: HONK! ^_____^

Halfling Elf : yo ! 

Yami : AGH !! How did you get here?

Halfling Elf : I have AUTHOR POWER * echoes * (thanks Angel!)

Yami : -_- just what I need. Another authoress.

Yugi & Mokuba : hello!

Maria: HONK! ^_^

Halfling Elf : *pulls out BIG bag of sugar * FREE SUGAR!!!

Yami : no thanks

Yugi : come on, Yami . If you eat some, we get to do some Seto Torture!

Yami : Really?! Gimme !! *shoves half of the bag down his throught * I AM YAM MAN!!

Yugi : hello again Yam Man!!

* Mokuba, Yugi, and Halfling Elf finish the bag *

Yami : now lets go find Kaiba! * Yami is all of the sudden in a hunters suit, on a horse*

Everyone else * who are also in hunters suit on horses with fake guns* : TALLY HO!!

Maria: Honk! ^________^ * waddles unusually fast, looking for Seto, acting like a hound dog *

Yami : follow that penguin! * charges after Maria *

Yugi: yeah!

Mokuba : lets go!

Halfling Elf : PREPARE TO BE TORTURED, KAIBA!

Weird narrator from Dragon Ball Z: will Kaiba get his torturing? How will the gang torture Kaiba? Will Maria ever meet Frank and Lime? Find out next chapter in MY FIRST KAIBA TORTURE FIC! 

Was it nice?

If you like torturing Seto, please give us things to hurt him! If there are enough reviews asking me, I'll put Yami Bakura torture in it to! Maria: HONK! ^_^ Oh, and Maria wants to meet Lime! She also wants to see Frank again! Bye for now!


	2. Kaiba: Found

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh ! or any of the cast, but I do own Maria! So no one can use Maria!

Dedication: This Fic is STILL dedicated to the following wonderful authoress : Yami Blue, Kitty Kat, Halfling Rogue*waves at big sister*, Angelofdarkness, and YYC! 

Now, on to the fic!!

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My First Kaiba Torturing fic!

Part two

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THE PRESENT ROOM!!

Halfling Elf: Yes, this is The present room! Where we take the Kaiba torturing stuff you gave us, and use it! 

Mokuba : YAY!!

Yami: gimme something! *throws away the fake gun*

Maria: HONK! ^_____^

Halloing Elf: yes, well lets get started! First is a LOT of presents from Kaiba Hater 2!!

Here they are! A metal toaster *throws it to Yami*, and a metal bat *throws it to Yugi*!Oh yes and a fish!*throws it to Maria who eats it whole*-_-() ( I will use the rest later!)

Maria: HONK! ^_____________________________________________^

Yami: *swings it above his head by the cord* THANKS!!^___________________^

Yugi: *takes some swings with it* won't it break on his thick head?

Halfling Elf: who cares? 

Yugi: true. Very true. Anyway, thanks!^___________^

Mokuba: *sniffs* what about me?

Halfling Elf: you wait! NEXT PRESENT GIVER IS…….MEDAFAN!!

Giving us a TRIPLE POWERED RUBBER DUCKY SUPER LAUNCHER  
AND 3 BILLION DUCKYS FOR AMMO! Here you go Mokuba!

Mokuba: YAY!! *aims at a card board shaped and painted like Kaiba* ohhh! It works perfectly! *hugs it* THANK YOU!! ^__________^

Halfling Elf : and last but not least, a ducky machine gun for moi *takes out the ducky bullets and put in special perfume and secret grenades from Sarah aka Celebi*! NOW LETS GO TORTURE!! 

Everyone else: YEAH!!

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The actually Ficcy!

Now that the gang is fully equipped, they followed Maria to find Kaiba. 

Halfling Elf: come on Maria find your brothers 'daddy'!

Maria : HONK! *points a wing to a curtain where you can see feet from under it*

H.E.: *whispers* we have found the penguin hater in his habitat mates, I'm gonna get him out and then you guys follow my lead!

Everyone else: *whispers* you got it!

H.E.: *in a singing voice* oh seeeeeeeettttoooooo! We fffffooooooooouuuuuuunnnndddd you!

Seto: ACK! *tries to run, but Yami uses his metal toaster to catch him like a lasso*

Yami: GOT HIM!!

H.E.: good *laughs evilly * MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *wraps Seto up in a Canadian flag so tight that he can't move* NOW MOKUBA!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Mokuba: YAY!! *runs off, then comes back*

Yugi: where did you go?

Mokuba: I went to Seto's room and covered it with duckies with my trusty TRIPLE POWERED RUBBER DUCKY SUPER LAUNCHER!!

Seto: ACK! LET ME-----mmph!

H.E.: *gags Seto* quiet you *smirks*

H.E.: Go Yugi! I don't want the others to have all the fun!

Yugi: YAY! *turns the bat into wood(this IS rated G)* 

SMACK 

PAF!

SNAP!

Yugi: darn, the bat broke-__-

Seto: oro…@_@

H.E.: all right now for my secret weapon! *pulls out ducky machine gun full of perfume and the special grenades*

Yugi: that's secret?

Yami: we all know that you had it!

H.E.: It's what's inside that is secret. Lets go! *aims it at Seto*

Weird DBZ narrator: what kind of perfume is in the ducky gun? Are those grenades dangerous? Will Maria get a bigger part in the next chapter?(Maria: HONK^___^)Find out in the third chapter of…..MY FIRST KAIBA TORTURE FIC!!

Did you like it?

Me and Maria really hope you liked it! WE NEED MORE ITEMS FOR KAIBA TORTURING! Please help us! See you later! ^______________________________________________________________________^

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	3. Fun with Kaiba!

Disclaimer: Geez, you all know the disclaimer, so why do I have to say it!?

N (one of my characters and keeper of Maria): because they don't belong to you, and the Japanese lawyers are gonna come after you like Yami Blue!

H.E.: Fine! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of the cast! There! I do own Maria though! 

Maria: HONK!! ^_______________________________________________^

This fic is STILL dedicated to: YYC, AngelOfDarkness, Halfling Rogue, Yami Blue, and Kitty Kat! Now, on to the ficcy!!

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My First Kaiba Torturing Fic!!

Part three

The Present Room!!

H.E.: Welcome to the present room! Where we take the stuff you give us, and use it!

Yami: YAY!

Yugi: Me and Yami need more stuff!

Mokuba: me too! 

H.E.: all right then! First present giver is. . . Amethyst Bubble!! Giving us:

*puts it in a heat proofed blanket* super hot lightbulbs! *gives it to Yami* 

*also puts it in a heat proofed blanket* super hot spray paint! *gives to Yugi*

And ducky balloons filled with sugar! *gives it you Mokuba*

(I already have a ducky B.B. gun, and I will be using Y.Bakura later! *grins evily*)

Yami: thanks! ^________________^

Yugi: thanks! ^______________________^

Mokuba: thank you! ^____________________________^

Maria: *depressed* honk. . . . L 

H.E.: awwwwwwww poor Maria! *gives her a fish* If you can spare a fish, Maria would take it gladly and give you a thank-you and a nice review on your fic!

Maria: Honk! ^-^

H.E.: Now, on to the fic!!!! ^____________________________________________________^

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The actual Fic

H.E.: ready Kaiba? MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Kaiba: mmph! Mmph!

Yami: shoot! Shoot!

Yugi: fire! Fire!

Mokuba: hurry! I wanna get him on a sugar high!

H.E.: all right! Fire number one! *fires a perfume bottle at Kaiba* HA!

*Kaiba now has the weak smell of. . . fish!*

Maria: *puts up her beak a bit* honk?

Yami: *takes out gag* there now lets here him bawl!

Kaiba: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssseee stop! I'll do anything!

H.E.: no! this is fun ^__^

Kaiba: *tries to wiggle away like a worm*

Yami: oh no you don't! *blocks his way*

Kaiba: *whimpers*

H.E.: Fire number two! *fires a second perfume bottle at Kaiba and now he smells a tiny bit more like fish* 

Maria: *looks Kaiba straight in the eye, but doesn't move*

Kaiba: thank the heavens!

Mokuba: if you get hi one more time big brother, she is gonna come after you!

Kaiba: Oh no. . .

H.E.: Oh yes! Fire number three! *aims, fires, and hits target ^_________^*

Maria: HONK^____________^ *charges at Seto*

Kaiba: NOOOOOOOOOO! *wriggles away desperately*

Maria: *is beside Kaiba* HONK! ^____________^

Kaiba: STAY AWAY FROM ME!!

Maria: HONK! *jumps on Kaiba back*

Kaiba: eep! Get her off!!! *starts shaking madly*

Maria: HONK! *pecks Kaiba on the head*

Kaiba: oro. . . @_@ *stops shaking*

Maria: ^__^

H.E.: Yay! Should I use the last of the perfume bottles?

Yami: YES! ^___________________^

Yugi: YES! ^___________________^

Mokuba: YES! ^_________________^

H.E.: ok. . . . ready. . . aim. . . 

Kaiba: *whimpers like a puppy dog*

H.E.: awww. He is soooo cute with that face!

Yugi: the sugar wore off!!

Yami: NOOOO!! Mokuba get your balloons! 

Mokuba: got it! *aims at balloons with arrows and hits them* yes!!

H.E.: *eats sugar* wow! Did I say seto was cute?

Everyone: yep!

H.E.: ACK! Oh well, I'm really gonna hit 'em now! *shoots the last of the perfume* HA!

Maria: HONK! *echoes*

*ground starts to shake*

Yami: What is that?!

Yugi: woah! *falls over*

H.E.: Oh no! Yugi! *holds him up*

Yugi: thanks H.E.

H.E.: no prob

Mokuba: whee!

*all of the sudden, all of the penguins in the world show up!*

Kaiba: eep! 

Frank: HONK! *waves at Maria* 

Maria: HONK! *waves at Frank*

Mokuba: cool! ^___^

*then all of the sudden, all of the penguins get on Kaiba and pecking him!*

Kaiba: *screams like a girl* ACCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!

H.E.: I think one of the birds pecked him in the wrong place!

Yami: ouch *crosses eyes*

Yugi: double ouch *also crosses eye* 

Mokuba: triple ouch *once more, another crossed eyed person*

H.E.: you know, with the penguins doing all the work, I'm bored

Yugi: well H.E. me, Yami, and Mokuba kinda noticed that, and got you two presents

Yami: you know Maria has to stay in the anime world?

H.E.: yes

Mokuba: well, we got you this present! *gives H.E. a box with wrapping paper on it*

We knew your birthday was a couple days ago, so we got you two presents. You'll get the second one when you are done with that one

H.E.: Thanks guys! *opens present* oh wow!

*inside, there is a necklace with a scroll. The scroll says: The penguin named Maria, is now allowed to go to the real world with H.E.*

H.E.: Thank you!

*the necklace reads: If found please call me Maria, and return me to Halfling Elf*

H.E.: double wow!

Yugi: here *gives H.E. a box with holes in it*

H.E.:?? *opens box, and inside is Chibi Bakura* OH MY GOODNESS!

C. Bakura: you nice! Please give hug to Bakura! 

H.E.: of course! *picks C. Bakura up gently and hugs him*

C. Bakura : you are nice. . . *falls asleep*

H.E.: awwwwwwwwwww! ^__^ Thanks guys! *kisses Yugi, Yami and Mokuba on the forehead*

All three: #^_^# *blushes deep red*

H.E.: wow! You guys sure can turn red!

Yami: uh, that's nice. . .

Yugi: thank you

Mokuba: yeah, thank you

H.E.: ^__^ you're welcome! *cuddles C. Bakura gently* you guys want me to use the present from Sarah aka Celebi?

Yami: ok. . .

Yugi: what does it do?

Mokuba: yeah, and what is it?

H.E.: you'll see! ^__^

Weird Narrator from DBZ: Awwwwwwwww! Isn't Bakura cute as a chibi? *cough cough* I mean. . . will H.E. use the secret present from Sarah aka Celebi? Will the penguins ever get off Kaiba? Find out next time in My First Kaiba Torturing Fic!

Maria: HONK!

I would hope that you liked it! As you can see, one of my favorite characters is C. Bakura!

I hoped you liked it! If you have any fish to spare, or any Kaiba torturing things, please give them to us! Maria: HONK! ^__^


	4. The Chibis Attack!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Disclaimer: I REFUSE TO SAY IT!!

Bakura: you have to!

H.E.: *sighs* fine! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or the cast, but I do own Maria! SO NO TOUCHIE!!

This fic is now dedicated to: Halfling Rogue, Yami Blue, YYC, Kitty Kat, Scarlet Moon,G, FC, and AngelOfDarkness! Thank you!

Also, I am now a S.K.T.S. and a N.A.R.D.S.!! *tears go down H.E.'s face* I'm soooo happy! Also, to all Seto torturers!! Please read the warning at the end of the fic! Now on to the fic! 

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My first Kaiba Torturing Fic!!

Part Four

The Present Room!!

H.E.: Welcome to the present room! If you know you gave me a present, please read this section!! You might show up in it!! Now, first present giver is. . . MEDAFAN!(again!!)

She gave us. . .

*gets dumped with sugar* YAY!!

*watches as Mokuba gets dumped with duckys and Yugi with teddies*

Mokuba & Yugi: Thank you!!

*a bucket of Hamakchi fish falls beside Maria*

Maria: HONK!! ^__^

H.E.: next is. . . Amethyst Bubble!! She gave us. . .

*another bucket of fish falls beside Maria*

*a official Kaiba torture guide book falls in H.E.'s hands while a Kaiba torture robot falls beside her*

Maria: HONK!! ^____^

H.E.: thank you! *puts the robot in a portal* I'll use that in another fic!

Next present giver is. . . Sarah aka Celebi!!

Giving us. . . a bazooka!!

S.A.C.: *pops out of no where* hello!

H.E: Hi!! Do you want to explain what your bazooka does and help us in the fic?

S.A.C.: yes, and yes!! What the bazooka does is simple, but harsh. It lets you choose out of three things

A)Turn someone into the opposite sex for 24 hours  
B)Instantly make whoever aimed at wear a dress for 24 hours  
or C)Makes a person very attractive to elephants.

H.E.: woah!! Cool!!

S.A.C.:Yeah! *takes out a chair and waits for the fic to begin*

H.E.: next present giver is. . . Kaiba Hater 2 (again)!!

Giving us:

12 copper bats for Yugi *turns them into wood*

12 buckets of fish for Maria *they all drop around Maria*

Maria: HONK! ^________________________________________^

H.E.: Mokuba gets the ducky shooter 5,000,000,with an unlimited supply of duckys to fill it with, and I get the Kaiba detector 3000!*puts the Kaiba detector 3000 away for a different fic* Sweet! ^_____^

Mokuba: YAY!!

Yugi: THANK YOU!!!

H.E.: and last but not least, a present from Evil Sugarysweetness!

The gift is…ammo anything-you-want launchers for EVERYONE!!

Everyone: Thank you!!!

H.E.: now, on to the fic!!!

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The actual fic!!

H.E: *aims the B.B. gun with the grenades in it at Kaiba and grins* Ready Kaiba? :)

Kaiba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

H.E.: *puts the gun down* I think I'll call some one to play with us. Is that OK S.A.C?

S.A.C: sure! The more the merrier! 

H.E.: OK! *puts out a BIG muffin made by Bakura*

YYC: *come out of nowhere* mufffffffffffiiiiinnnn!! ^_______^ OH, hello you two!

Both: Hello YYC!!

YYC: *grins evilly* hello Kaiba!

Kaiba: -___- great. I'm covered with penguins, and now YYC is here!!

H.E.: YYC, I know you hate Yami Bakura, so you get to play later OK?

YYC: Ok, I guess. Why?

H.E.: because we will be torturing both soon! :)

YYC: YES!! I will wait if that is what is going to happen!

H.E.: thanks YYC! Well, you are a guest, so I'll do this *pulls out a lawn chair with a BIG table beside it.On the table is: muffins, fanta(do you like that?) and lots of sweets!*

YYC: Thanks! *sits down and starts eating muffins*

H.E.: also, if you want to hit Seto, use this! *gives her a pole*

YYC: *nods*

S.A.C: come on! I wanna play!

Yami: I gotta head ache. . . Aibou? What are we doing here?!

Yugi: oh no!! Yam Man is gone!!!!

Yami: don't call me that Aibou -__-()

Mokuba: *gasps while shoveling sugar down Yami's throught* Eat!!! Swallow!!!

Yami: *swallows* ^______^ Dun, dun, DUN!! *runs into a closet and when he comes out, he has a super man suit but instead of an S there is a Y* YAM MAN HAS RETURNED!!!!!! ^_______^

H.E.: OK!^__________^

S.A.C.: Hello Yam Man!! How are you? *laughs until her sides hurt for Yam Man/Yami is in tights* 

Yami: Veeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy good!!! ^__^ *giggles* 

SA.C.: *stops laughing but is starts giggling*OK. . . ^-^()

H.E: *picks up BB gun again* well, lets end what we've started!! PENGUINS!! SCATTER!!

(all of the penguins get off Seto and stand beside him and stand in lines except three penguins: Frank, Maria, and Ice(Ice belongs to Kaiba Hater 2 and we think he has a crush on Maria) they are standing beside H.E.)

Seto: FREE!! *realises that he is still in the canadian flag* -___-()

H.E.: HA!! YOU FORGOT DIDN'T YOU?! *laughs evily*

C.Bakura: *wakes up* Oh! Me wanna play!!

H.E.: very good idea Bakura!! Yami, and YYC! If Seto tries to hurt us while we are small, hurt him!!

Yami: OK!! *puffs out chest and takes out hammer*

YYC: sure! No prob! :)

H.E.: OK! Watch! *turns Mokuba, herself, and Yugi into chibis except without kid personalities*

Yugi: cool!! *looks up* Wow Yami you are BIG!!

H.E.: come on troops! I haven't lost my AUTHOR POWER *echos* so lets attack!!

(Mokuba gets a duckie hammer, while Yugi gets a teddie hammer)

H.E.: I know Bakura doesn't like fighting, so I'm putting S.A.C to protect him!

S.A.C: Ok! *gets a hammer* 

C.Bakura: *Gets on S.A.C piggy-back style* Okie dokie up here H.E.!!

H.E.: all right! *her chibi sword comes to her in a poof and points it at seto* ATTACK!!!!

All the chibis exept C.Bakura: CHARGE!! *starts hitting Kaiba with there wepons*

Kaiba: @_@ the pain and the suffering!!

H.E: ^____^ *starts jumping on Kaiba*

Yugi & Mokuba: ^____^ *starts jumping with H.E.*

Weird DBZ narrirator: will the chibi's kill Kaiba? Will H.E. EVER use the grenades? Find out next time in: My First Kaiba Torturing Fic!!!

I am sooooooooo random! I think I am at least. . . ~_~  


I hoped you liked it!!If I get 25 reviews, I'll make a new chappie! OK? So click the purple button!!!

Warning: Halfling Rouge is might team up with Kaiba and get revenge on all Kaiba torturers! Brrrrrrrrr! Beware!!

  


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	5. Attack of the big sister!! NOOOOOOOO!!!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN Yu-Gi-Oh! So There you Japanese Lawers!! Maria is mine though, so you can't use her without my permision!

This fic is dedicated to: YYC, Kitty Kat, Halfling Rogue, AngelOfDarkness, G, FC, Yami Blue, and Scarlet Moon!

Author's rant: *sighs* please give us Seto bashing stuff, we need it bad!! Now, on to the fic!!!

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My First Kaiba Torturing Fic!!

Part 5

The Present Room

H.E: Hello, and welcome back to the present room!! Were we use the stuff you gave us!!

First giver is. . . Hyperanimefaan!!Giving us. . .

a super powered bazooka that makes the thing the person who you are aiming at's worst fear and unlimited ammo for it!!! *puts it away for another fic* (you should see my spare house. . .it's full of Kaiba torturing stuff! I should make a gallery!!)

H.E: next is. . .Froom Sarah aka Celebi!

S.A.C: yo! Here is mike!! The giant octopus!!

Mike: ^_^*gurgle gurgle*

H.E: Thanks! Next is. . .Amethyst Bubble!! Giving us. . .

Fish for Maria

A dog for Mokuba, specially trained to attack Kaiba!

Lots and Lots of candy for all!

A special video with special tips on how to torture and bash Seto!

And a little note book for Halfling Elf in which she can record her evil plans!

Maria: HONK!! ^________^ *shares the fish with Frank and Ice*

Frank&Ice: HONK!! ^_________^

H.E.: *watches as Yami steals half of Yugis candy and Yugi goes after him* WOAH YAMI!! THERE'S GONNA BE MORE CANDY!! SO DON'T EAT YUGI'S!!

Yami: REALLY?! *sits down on his pile of candy*

H.E: now, next giver is Bakura's Angel!!Giving us… 

Two large fish! *Maria, Ice and Frank split them again*

A handy dandy Y. Bakura detector!

More sugar for Yam Man! *gets eaten by yam man in 0.05 seconds* -_-()

Teddy bear grenades for Yugi!

Duckies for Mokuba!

And a penguin whistle for me!! ^________^

Everyone that got presents: thank you!!!

. . . 

Halfling Rogue: *sneaks onto computer while her sister's out* Mwahahahaha . . . Never leave an unattended computer near an evil sister. ^-^ *glares at YYC* I **ASKED** to be in the SKTS! And NARDS!! You never answered me!! So now, NOW, **KAIBA AND I SHALL HAVE OUR REVENGE**!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Seto: We will? o.O

Y Bakura: Hey! That's my laugh! .

Halfling Rogue: *raspberries Y Bakura* I can do anything I want with you. I won you in an auction with NC. ^-^

Y Bakura: SHHHHH!!! NOT IN PUBLIC!!

Yami: *eyes Y Bakura* She WON you in an auction? So now she owns you? And she can do anything she wants to you? *starts laughing hysterically*

Y Bakura: Watch it, buddy-boi. You're up next for auction. *smirks*

Yami: *horrified expression*

Halfling Rogue: Yeeeeeeeeeeeah . . . anyway! *grabs Seto around the neck* Members of the SKTS, beware!! For the ULTIMATE REVENGE FANFIC!!! *thunder crashes in background*

Seto: *would be ecstatic, except HR's grip is cutting off all circulation to his head*

Halfling Rogue: *eyes the blue Seto* Oops! ^-^ *lets go* As my first act of evilness . . . I shall post my sister's chapter!! Without her permission!! AND BEFORE IT'S FINISHED!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Seto: *still gasping a bit* So . . . I get . . . to get my revenge on the SKTS?

Halfling Rogue: Yup! You n' me both! Partners!! ^0^

Y Bakura: *mutters* IF you can survive being _her_ partner.

Halfling Rogue: I heard that. ^-^ You're comin' with ME young bish!! *starts dragging him off by his hair*

Y Bakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Halfling Rogue: *pokes head back in* Oh, by the way. The auction is currently on hold while all us authoresses are studying for exams, but if you want to show up at http://pub96.ezboard.com/byugiohcanada , bidding in the Ads/Shrines forum will resume at the end of June. ^-^ Yami is the current up for bids. :D

Yami: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Halfling Rogue: Bai bai now! And all you members of SKTS, get your security systems installed . . . while you still can. :} BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Seto: *calmly puts in ear plugs and follows her out* I'm gonna regret this . . . 

  


  



	6. Yami Bakura gets hurt

Disclaimer: Grrrrrrrr… I hate saying this but…I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Bakura *sighs* oh well. 

This fic is dedicated to. . . Kitty Kat, Halfling Rogue, G, YYC, FC, and AngelOfDarkness! Thank you all!

I'm sorry that this is late. As you probably know, Fan Fic wouldn't let us sign in, so it took a while.

Author's rant : *looks at last chappie* Grrrr.. That's the LAST time I leave a unfinished chapter open when I go out . . . 

Now, on to our fic!!!

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My First Kaiba Torturing Fic

Part Six

The Present Room

H.E: Welcome to the present room once more! Our first present giver is. . .I-don't-know!

Giving us….

Laxative cleverly disguised as Seto's fav candy!!

And fish sticks that are penguin shaped for Maria!! *Maria splits them with Mike, Ice, and Frank*

Maria, Frank & Ice: HONK!!! ^_________^

Mike: *gurgle* ^_______^

H.E.: *looks behind her and sees YYC chasing Seto on Bahamut* GO YYC!!! 

Any way. . .our next present giver is… Evil SugarySweetness!! 

Giving us. . .

THE GIANT TEDDY OF DOOOOM FOR YUGI! SAME GOES FOR MOKUBA BUT HE GETS A DUCKY!

A all you can eat buffet for Maria!! *once again, Maria splits it with all of the animals there* Hmmm….. *thinks for a second, and since H.E. is still a chibi, it doesn't take long* Well, I'm gonna call some friends!! *in a POOF! KH2 and ESS appear* ^_________^   


KH2: hello H.E.!! Can we be chibis to?

H.E.: sure!! *POOF!!*

KH2 & ESS: YAY!! *gets mini hammers* 

S.A.C.: *sniff* I wanna be a chibi!!!

H.E.: OK!! *POOF!!*

S.A.C: goody!!

H.E.: where's Bakura?

S.A.C: Mike's got him

H.E.: ok! ^____^

KH2: here! *takes out a new laptop, with fast-speed internet connection, 100 wood bats for Yugi, Yugi also gets the teddy launcher 3000* It can instantly redecorate a room in teddies, or shoot out soft teddies that hold sugar!!!

H.E.: cool!!! *takes the laptop* thank you!!

KH2: I also got this stuff. . .

100 more toasters for Yami, with an extension cord

a endless supply of sugar, also, for Mokuba, a new ducky launcher 3000 with an unlimited supply of duckies to fill it with

For Maria, Frank, and Ice, 1000 buckets of fish. HI ICE!!!

Ice: HONK!! ^____________^

KH2: and YYC and Sarah aka celebi each get ducky machines, which shoot out duckies faster than the speed of sound!!

Everyone that got a present: THANK YOU!!

Mokuba: *he's on his doggy* 

S.A.C: I brought Mr. Fluffins, and I got a whistle that calls any 'demon' bird in a 15 mile radius!!

H.E: Thanks! On to the ficcy!! *H.E. gets on Mike with ESS and Yugi, and YYC(who is a chibi too) gets on Mokuba's dog. KH2 & S.A.C get on Mr. Fluffins with Yam Man* TALLY HO!!

Everyone else: TALLY HO!!

****

The Actual Fic!!

H.E: *gets off Kaiba* do the animals wanna have fun?

Mike, Mr. Fluffins, Mokuba's dog, Maria, Ice, and Frank: *nod*

Mr. Fluffins: :)Z)

Mokuba: *gets on his dog* CHARGE!!!

everyone that are on the animals: YEAH!! CHARGE!!

Kaiba: NOOOOO!!!!

Yami: YEEESSSSS!! *ties Kaiba up in all of the toasters and exstention cords*

Kaiba: -_-() not again!!

Y. Bakura: *pops out of nowhere* Where am I?

H.E: THE WHITE HAIRED CHICKEN IS HERE!! MR. FLUFFINS, MOKUBA'S DOG, MOKUBA, S.A.C, YYC, AND *Bahamut appears out of nowhere*…Bahamut!! AFTER Y. BAKURA!!

YYC: *gets on Bahamut* GO! ^______^

Mokuba: CHARGE!! ^________^

S.A.C: ATTACK!!! ^_________________^

Y. Bakura: ACK!! *runs off*

Mr. Fluffins: :)Z)*finds Y.Bakura and starts to chew his leg* 

S.A.C: Good boy!!

Mr. Fluffins: :)Z)

Mokuba's dog: *chews on other leg* :)

Mokuba: Nice doggy! ^___________^

Mokuba's dog and Mr. Fluffins: :)Z) *both pull in the opposite directions*

Y. Bakura: THEPAINANDTHESUFFERINGPLEASEMAKETHEMSTOP!!!!

Bahamut: *flames Y.Bakura's butt* :)

YYC: I love it when you do that!! *hugs Bahamuts neck, trying to put her hands totally around his neck *remember she is a chibi!^___^**

Bahamut: :)

Y. Bakura: I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION!! OH, IT HURTS!! IT HURTS!!I NEED BURN RELIF, AND I MIGHT NEED STITCHES TOO! @-@

Everyone in the fic: NO!!!!! BWA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

H.E: ALL RIGHT!! ICE, MARIA, FRANK, MIKE, KH2, ESS, YUGI, BAKURA, YYC, BAHAMUT, AND YAM MAN! YOU COME WITH ME!

Everyone mentioned above: all right! HONK!!HONK!!HONK!! *gurgle*! 

Yam Man/Yami: I will hurt him with… Yams!!!

H.E.:OK! As long as you hurt Kaiba! 

Yam Man/Yami: no prob! *poofs out chest*

Weird DBZ narrirator: BWA HAHAHAHAHA!! Seto and Y.Bakura are getting hurt! Anyway, will Y.Bakura get what he wants? Will Mokuba's dog get a name? Find out next time on… My First Kaiba Torturing Fic!!

Weird, huh! ~_^

Well, what name should Mokuba's dog be?

Mokuba: Edie?

Yugi: Mr. Teddie?

H.E.: or Cutie-pie?

Y.Bakura: please get me some pain killer. . .

H.E.: NO! Anyway, Please R&R, and I hope you have a nice Day!…Or evening…or siesta…or Christmas… *keeps mumbling weird days*

N: ~_~ See yeah! Oh, and click the purple button!*tries to shake H.E. out of mumbling weird days*

Maria: HONK!!! ^________^


	7. A Break From The Fic

Disclaimer: you know the disclaimer.

****

A Break From The Fic

H.E.: Ok… It is break time!

Maria: HONK!

H.E.: what Maria?

Maria: HONK!

H.E.: WHAT?!

Maria: HONK!!! 

H.E.: WHAT?! *doesn't notice the BIG shadow coming from up above*

Maria: HONK!!! *points up*

H.E.: *looks up just before the writers block falls on her* AGH!!!

Maria: Honk…. O

H.E.: The pain and the suffering… I have no ideas left… and I am going somewhere soon so I cannot write!!! So I will have to chip out of this block so I can write! If you got tools that can help me, please help!!

Maria: *gets a chisel and starts chipping* 

H.E.: Thanks pal…^__^

Maria: Honk! ^__^

N: If you have any slaves that we can borrow, (e.g. Y. Bakura & Seto) please send us them. H.E. would make them come, but her arms are trapped, and I can't use her lab top or AUTHOR POWER! *echoes*

H.E.: See you all later… if I get out from under this rock; _;

Bakura: *pops out of nowhere, sighs and helps Maria*

N: *joins in*

All three: See you!


	8. Boys turn into girls!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. SO YOU CAN'T SUE ME! *points at the Japanese lawyers* BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!

This fic is still dedicated to: AngelOfDarkness, YYC, FC, Kitty Kat, SM, Halfling Rouge, and G! Thank you!

My writers block is gone! Yami Malick, Y.Bakura, and Kaiba were slaves and chipped me out.^_______^

Author's Rant: no one wants to name Mokuba's dog! ;_; poor doggy!

Mokuba's dog: ;_;

I've only had one person choose a name! Please! Help us choose a name! (The names are at the end of chpt. 6) Thank you

****

My First Kaiba Torturing Fic

Part Seven

The Present Room

H.E.: Hello, and welcome to the present room!! First up is Sarah a.ka. Celebi!! Giving us…

S.A.C.: *pulls out two little dolls that look like Seto and Y.Bakura* THE ULTRA-OMEGA TORTURE VOODOO DOLLS! version 6.0 ^.^ 

H.E.: ^_^ Thanks!! Next is Kawaii-anime-lover!! Giving us… 99,999,999 buckets of fish to Maria!!!

Maria: *splits them with all of the pets there, including Herbie who just showed up*

H.E.: Thank you!! Next is hyperanimefan!! Giving us…

Lotza fishies for the penguinies and other animalies, 100000000000000000 bags o' sugar for every one and a divining rod to help find anything you desire!!!  


Everyone: Thanks!! HONK!! *gurgle!*

H.E.: ^_____^ Next is Bakura's Angel!! Giving us…..

1,000,000,000,000 buckets of fish For Maria Ice Frank and Mike  
  
A penguin reppelent which really don't repel just attracts more birds for Kaiba (don't tell him that though let him think it keeps em away ^^)   
  
6 barrels of marshmallow peeps for Yami  
  
Lots o sugar and a special chibi sword that has a ducky on the hilt it allows the user to point it at the victim and the victim gets injured alot for HE!  
  
stitches and a handy dandy first aid kit thats missing the essentials and only has the cold compress and gauze for Yami Bakura   
  
teddy bear launchers that launch out teddies faster than Mach 3 for SAC and YYC.   
  
Everyone: THANK YOU!!

Y.Bakura: I'm SAVED!! ^_^ THANK YOU!!

Kaiba: YES!! *doesn't use it strait away though o.O*

H.E.: ^____^ Next present giver is Sungirl and Meowiegirl!! Giving us…

An official Penguins license for Halfling Elf  
her own ice palace and a life time supply of fish for Maria(she splits the fish again)  
for everyone else(except Kaiba and Y.Bakura)an everything Robot it has every thing you'll need for torturing Kaiba and it comes with a lifetime supply of sugar.  


Everyone except Kaiba and Y.Bakura: THANK YOU!!!

H.E.: next is KH2 giving us….

KH2: duckie mallets, and duckie water guns for everyone!!!

Everyone: THANK YOU!!!

H.E.: Mark0 gives us…

a fish for Maria and a feather to tickle seto with for Yugi

Yugi: Thanks!! 

Maria: HONK!! ^_^ (splits the fish)

H.E.: aaand, *Hot Ice walks in* Hot Ice is able to come here 'cause Salness let her be here for the fic!! 

Hot Ice: ^_^

Everyone: ON TO THE FIC!!

****

The Actual Fic

H.E.: BWA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Mike, Maria, Herbie, Ice, Frank, Bahamut, Mr. Fluffums, and Mokuba's dog!! CAPTURE KAIBA AND Y. BAKURA!!!!!

All mentioned above: *capture Kaiba and Y. Bakura*

H.E.: *takes out the Bazooka S.A.C. gave us in chapter 4* BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!! *turns the dial to opposite sex*

Y.Bakura: you wouldn't…..

Kaiba: please god…. No….

H.E. : :) yes!!! *fires them at Kaiba and Y.Bakura*

Y.Bakura & Kaiba: NOOOOOOO!!! *their voices turn girly*

H.E.: :) *straps them in mad scientist chairs* GO GIRLS!!!!

YYC, S.A.C.,KH2, ESS, and Hot Ice: :) *all of them crowd around Y.Bakura and Kaiba*

Y.Bakura and Kaiba: HEY!! NO! STOP!!

YYC: we need some of this…

Hot Ice: and some of that….

S.A.C.: a little bit of this…

KH2: and that….

ESS: and we're done!! 

*all of the girls back away to leave Y.Bakura and Kaiba*

Y.Bakura: *whimpers*

Kaiba: *is as red as a beet*

H.E.: Kaiba now has long hair, and in a VERY tight gown which is red, with a rose in his..I mean her…hair!! She has sparkling red high heels, and lipstick and eye shadow(red), with rose quartz earrings! She also has red nail polish on!

Y.Bakura has a see-through dress with a bikini underneath!! She has purple high heels on, and her hair is in a pigtail! She has pink lipstick on and purple eye shadow on, and amethyst earrings!! She also has pink nail polish!! Don't they look wonderful!!

Everyone there: *burst into laughter*

Fan Boys: *pop out of nowhere and run after Y.Bakura and Kaiba* COME HERE LOVELY!!!!

Kaiba and Y.Bakura: NOOOOO! *runs away, but not that fast, because they are in high heels*

H.E.: GOOD LUCK GIRLS!!!

Everyone: *is rolling on the floor with laughter*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DBZ Narrirator: BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Will Kaiba and Y.Bakura ever get rid of the guys? Find out next time for…. My First Kaiba Torturing fic!!!

Sorry it was so short guys!! I just got out of writers block, so I'm kinda everywhere! I might draw a picture of Kaiba and Y.Bakura as girls and in the dresses! Please R&R, and push the pretty purple button!!

~H.E. 


	9. I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

****

My first Kaiba Torturing Fic

Yes, I'm back! But the Yu-Gi-Oh cast doesn't know... Bwa HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! ... Ah well. If I did, Kaiba would die in a terrible way... :) 

The Yu-Gi-Oh! Cast is sitting a my counter drinking hot chocolate

Kaiba: Sooooo... How long has it been since we've seen H.E.?

Yami: over 4 months at least I think.

Mokuba: I miss her!

Maria: HONK!! :(

Yugi: Yeah, but we're free now! We can go anywhere in Canada if we want to!

Yami: Wrong. She put spirit wards on the house before she left remember?

Yugi: Oh yeah...

Kaiba: Well, now that she's gone no one shall torture me!!

Y. Bakura: Yeah! Me too!

Yami: But... I can't shake the feeling that someone is watching us...

Mokuba: *thinks for a bit and gets an idea to see who is on the ceiling* Guess what everybody! I used to live in a CONDOM!!!

Everyone: *spits out their drinks* WHAT?!

???: *THUMP* *rolls around with laughter* BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Everyone: HALFLING ELF!!!

H.E.: Howdy! I'm back for more torturing fun!!

Y. Bakura and Kaiba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

H.E.: YEEEEEEEEEESS!!! *bashes both of them with hammers*

Maria: HONK!! *runs over and hugs H.E*

H.E.: Hi girl! Ready to torture again?

Maria: HONK!! ^_______^

H.E.: Ok then! AUTHORESSES, COME ON BACK!!!

*big lightning*

DBZ Author: What will happen to Kaiba and Y. Bakura? Find out next time on, My first Kaiba torturing fic!!!

I'm BACK!! I'm not dead!!! Any way, push the purple button!!


End file.
